5 Self-Care Tips

DURING STRESSFUL TIMES

Stepmom self-love relaxing with a coffee and capturing her emotions and experiences in her journal

If you are facing a stressful or painful situation right now, my 5 self-care tips during stressful times are here to help you take care of yourself and start to feel better today!

Perhaps, for example, all the uncertainty of 2020 has made your work or financial situation unpredictable. Maybe you’re facing conflicts with a toxic family member. Or maybe the stress of having the kids home all the time is taking a toll. When stressful issues come to us in life, it’s important to have a self-care practice to support us and keep us grounded as we push through it.

For instance, for my partner and me, our challenge for several years was an extremely dysfunctional co-parenting dynamic with the biological mother of his kids. It caused us a lot of stress and anxiety and the self-care tips during stressful times that I share below were critical to my wellness routine.

During that time, my partner and I chose to do the work to create foundational changes together as a team. After that, we were able to move on to a level of healing and thriving that I didn’t always believe possible.

Here are my top 5 self-care tips during stressful times, so you can focus on protecting your well-being and start feeling better today:

1. Mindset Shifts 👀

From now on, practice looking at each problem that arises as an opportunity for you and your partner to learn more and educate yourselves.

I always tell my clients that developing emotional strength is similar to building bigger muscles in your body. Working out and breaking down muscles is what makes them stronger as they rebuild and grow. Building emotional muscles works pretty much the same way. It’s miserable and it hurts. But the rewards are worth it.

Just reacting or blaming is easy, but shifting your mindset takes work. First, allow yourself some time to be upset. Then, move on to a problem-solving stance as soon as you can. Shift your mindset by saying a little “thank you” to the Universe for bringing an opportunity for growth into your life and relationship.

Think of this challenge as an opportunity to see how powerfully you and your partner can come together as a united front. Don’t sweep things under the rug. Try your best to reign in your reactive emotions and behavior. On the other hand, spend your precious energy figuring out ways to handle the situation as efficiently as possible and moving on.

Mindset is everything, it always is. That’s why MINDSET SHIFTS is the first of our self-care tips during stressful times.

The lessons we need to learn don’t magically go away until we’ve learned them! What lessons is this challenge here to teach you?
Mindset shifts are one of the greatest forms of self-care a stepmom can practice when facing a high-conflict co-parenting reality

VISUALIZATION FOR THE DAY: picture yourself energetically building a protective fortress around yourself; one brick at a time.

2. Sacred Time  💃🏽🕺🏻

Okay, here we go, this is an IMPORTANT one. We all know it, but do we actually make it happen?

Plan something enjoyable to look forward to with your partner — kid-free — at least once a week. To clarify, when I say SACRED, I mean you both give it your respect by cherishing the time together and making it happen, no matter what. I know it can be tough, especially right now with everything going on in the world, but you both must make it an absolute priority.

So, call it connection time, date night, solo time — whatever works for you. It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive, just make it happen by getting it on your calendar! Get creative and make it fun. It’s extremely important to recognize that you both need to feel connected as a couple while facing challenges, especially if you are feeling stressed or high-levels of pressure with the kids at home all the time.

Consequently, if the partnership is struggling, everything else suffers — including our ability to care for our family.

Healthy parenting comes from an emotionally balanced space, not a disconnected and depleted one. So in short — make a promise to one another and commit to protecting this SACRED TIME.

During times of high stress, when it feels like fires are burning all around you, it sure isn’t easy to chill out and relax. But your relationship is worth the focused effort. Connection is everything in a relationship. So make it happen.

A stepmom connects with her partner on date night

VISUALIZATION FOR THE DAY: picture yourself releasing a heavy, fear-based energy from your body and feeling the power of your truth replace it. ✨

3.  Process Emotions 💓

Let me tell you from the get-go: if you feel it, it matters. 

I’ll say it again: IF YOU FEEL IT, IT MATTERS! 

Many people tend to shove down their feelings. As a result, they often question whether or not to speak up when something is bothering them. They don’t want to create more stress for their partner, so they swallow their pain.

Clarity about their emotions evades them, so they bury their feelings, deeper and deeper. We all know this isn’t healthy. But many of us do it anyway. If you want to process your emotions, it’s essential to get clear on what it is you’re feeling and why. 

Which means you must first acknowledge your feelings — even the ugly and angry ones.

Whether it’s journaling, expressing them to your partner, going to therapy, or talking with a coach, you must let yourself feel your emotions to move through them.

While you PROCESS EMOTIONS, the third of my self-care tips during stressful times, think about: What thoughts keep looping through your head about your current problems? How does the situation make you feel? What are your hopes for improvement? Ask yourself meaningful questions and sit with the feelings that come to you.

As a result, you start to get more in tune with yourself in this way, knowing and speaking your truth then becomes more comfortable. Our emotions are there for a reason. What are your emotions telling you right now?

Stepmom self-worth: processes her emotions by journalling with a coffee

VISUALIZATION FOR THE DAY: picture yourself releasing a heavy, fear-based energy from your body and feeling the power of your truth replace it. ✨

4. Kindred Spirits  🥰

More than anything, I hope you now know you’re not alone.

Reach out and set an intention to connect with one soul brother/sister within the month. Someone who has a deeper understanding or can relate and help you feel better.

For me, I can’t survive without my girl-time, which is proven to lower blood pressure and anxiety levels. After, I always take a moment to stop and acknowledge that I feel better. My stress levels have lowered, and I feel as if my sisters have shrouded me in their love and protection.

Most importantly, this connection with my kindred spirits soothes my soul. I know it will nourish yours as well.

Stepmom Self-Care: Women sharing their experiences of their stepmom journey and connecting over their stories

VISUALIZATION FOR THE DAY: picture awesome, like-minded women who understand exactly how you feel surrounding you. You don’t have to convince them of anything because they’ve been in your shoes and survived it. You feel inspired by your time with them.

Follow me on Instagram for more relationship and empowerment advice and inspiration!

5. Tap in 🙏🏼

This is a BIG one! The last of my self-care tips during stressful times: TAP IN.

Make it a priority to TAP IN to source energy every day. God, the universe, spirit, the divine — whatever resonates for you.

Get quiet with prayer or meditation, and allow all the resistance and stress to fade away. Know that you’ve done your part and given it your best. Likewise, trust that everything will be exactly as it’s meant to be. Let go as you hand it over to something bigger than yourself. 

For my partner and me, during the times when it felt like the chaos was getting the best of us, this divine love prayer is one of the only things we could manage as we tried to get somewhat centered and bring forth positive energy amidst a very toxic co-parenting situation.

We were in the trenches and we needed help. Though we couldn’t control the circumstances, we could try our damnedest to maintain our self care and inner peace.

During that time, most mornings my partner and I said a version of this Divine Love prayer by Robert Fritchie as we sat side-by-side:

Visual of Divine Love Prayer

(Breath in deeply and slowly through your nose. Hold. Let your breath out through your nose powerfully! Sit for a couple of minutes and pay attention to any thoughts and feelings that may arise.)

Maiko Michelle Stepmom self-care: a stepmom taps into her personal power in loving meditation

VISUALIZATION FOR THE DAY: picture a protective energy surrounding you, your relationship, and your household. Breathe in light, exhale all the dark energy. Let the universe recycle what you exhale as it becomes light again. “I am safe. I am listening. I now connect with Divine Love. All is well.” ✨

Are you ready to start protecting your inner peace and well-being? Hopefully, having these five self-care tips during stressful times in your toolbox can help!

We’re all in this together.

xoxo, 💖

Maiko

P.S. Please be sure to follow my Facebook Page for more stepmom self-care tips, Maiko Michelle — Empowerment Coach and please get in touch if you think you might need some guidance. ✨

Freedom from the Chaos co-parenting: the sun rises over the mountains